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04 July 2015 @ 07:21 am

Hope you have a most awesome day!  *hugs*
Current Location: United States, Illinois
Current Mood: cheerfulcheerful
05 January 2015 @ 09:31 pm
Tonight I said goodbye to one of my dearest friends. She left this world on New Year's Eve after a hard-fought battle with ovarian cancer. She was my friend, my teacher of many things and one of the most amazing people I've ever had the privilege of knowing. The first six months I knew her, I wasn't sure what to think until she told me one day that if she spoke abusively to me, it meant she liked me a lot. We were very close after that. lol

I'm 67 years old and this is the first close friend I've lost like this. There have been mates of friends that have passed, but not friends. The funeral was difficult for everyone, especially the family, and I couldn't stop the tears. A little over a year ago, she accepted Christ as her Savior, thus assuring that we'll see each other again in His Presence. I miss her terribly.

Also at the end of the year, we found that Deputy's wife is leaving him. She says she never really loved him as more than a friend. She wants their son to stay with Deputy as she can't handle him. I feel completely betrayed and broken-hearted. She really had me fooled.

So far, I'm not too happy with 2015, but the good thing is it has to get better. Please say a prayer for me if you feel like it.  Thanks.
Current Location: Living Room
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: TV
29 June 2012 @ 04:54 pm
Mom won't wake up to eat.  She didn't have breakfast or lunch and she has another bladder infection which will be a recurring problem as long as she is there.  Dr. said the only way to treat it would be to take her to the ER and go on IV antibiotics and he would not recommend that for her.  She has a DNR and wants no heroic efforts .

Hubs and I went to see her and she did not respond until we were ready to go and I rubbed her arm and told her I'd see her later.  She very slightly nodded her head.

I don't think it will be long since she can't eat.  They have instructions to just keep her comfortable.

Deputy and his family are on the way down to see her one last time.

Just wanted to let you all know.
Current Location: my office
Current Mood: resigned
Current Music: fan under the desk
04 June 2012 @ 08:25 pm
  Really cranky today!  Yesterday was better, but she didn't like the quilt I brought to put on her bed.  Oh well.  Didn't bother me because I figured she'd forget she'd said it.

She doesn't know what she's saying today.  She says stuff and then says she didn't say that. 

She fell out of bed again over night and there will be a sitter there overnight tonight.  They were going to bring in a very low bed, but we don't want her to fall at all. Her bones are OLD.  :(

She isn't going to come out of there, I just know it. It's all happening very quickly, but that's the way she would want it.  So do we, really.

No need to comment if you don't want to.  I'm just getting it out.  
Current Location: living room
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: television
03 June 2012 @ 07:41 pm
We have Mom safely settled at a rehab facility. We thought we had a break. All her stuff got moved to my sister's yesterday and there is still a lot to do, but it doesn't have to be this week. My sister called me this morning to tell me that she had gotten a call at 10 pm last night that Mom had fallen getting out of bed (probably thinking about going to the bathroom). They have an alarm on her bed that will go off if she tries to get up alone.

I went to see her today just after lunch time and she has a red bruise on the side of her face. I think (hope) that the rehab will start tomorrow. She remembers nothing of it. Asked her if she knew where she was and she said she did. When I asked where, her answer was "Wherever I am." She does remember who we are, but has no idea about the passage of time or the day or the year.

Her right arm is being babied again. I put a cookie in her right hand and asked her to eat it. She finally remembered after a while that she had the cookie, moved it to her left hand, and ate it. 

I don't know if my mom is ever coming back to any degree at all. :(
Current Location: living room
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: Pawn Stars
25 May 2012 @ 10:30 pm
It was a tough couple of days for her. Tuesday and Wednesday it seemed like she should be in a wheelchair and a nursing home. Very discouraging. My sister told her and us that it would be a week or two at the most. Last night, my B-I-L told Hubs that he didn't want to do all the work unless it was going to be for 5 years, so he's dragging his feet. In the meantime, the burden is on us. There's no progress on their end.

Today has been a good day, tho. She's getting up pretty much on her own and to the bathroom. I treasure these days. :)

Tomorrow, Hubs and I are going to her place and pack up whatever little stuff we can. Mom will be getting her hair done, so that's a good thing. She'll be busy.  :D

Hope tomorrow is another good one.  :)
Current Location: living room
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: news (ugh)
20 May 2012 @ 04:58 pm
Hello.  Don't read if you don't want to.  It's depressing.

It's been an interesting week and I'm shocked at how quickly Mom's deterioration is going. I'm thinking we might not get to move her to my sister's house after all.  :(  She fell backwards from her walker right here in the living room.  Would have had to call 911 if Hubs hadn't been here.  I can't make her sit all the time.

We have a baby monitor for her at night.  Sometimes she gets up in the night and I wake up immediately when she starts grunting and scooting, falling back to sleep when she settles again.  Last night I heard a thud!  She was lying face down like she'd been on her way back to bed and had a wound on her forehead.  Got her back to the bathroom, treated the wound, and got her back to bed.  She doesn't remember any of it and can't figure out why she has a bandage on her head. It was a goose egg, but the swelling has gone way down.

Hubs and Deputy left to go to a gun show as Mom was coming into the living room again.  She wouldn't sit down, as she was 'wet'.  Took her back to the bathroom to get her cleaned up and discovered the bed was wet, too.  Single-handedly had to put her into the shower, strip her bed, and all the other things involved with such an event. 

My two guys got home and Hubs got right to work on the mattress.  We were soooooo not prepared for this in any way!!!!

My sister is sick today after the party at *gulp* Chuck E. Cheese's last night.  I wish they'd quit working on the apartment that probably won't get used and help me get Mom's apartment packed and ready for her to move out. 

I really fear there is only one move left.  Deputy and the Lovely L really could see the difference.  :(  I'm exhausted!

I might be on here more often for a bit, but if you don't read, I understand.
Current Location: living room
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: Josh Lucas in Stealth
15 May 2012 @ 09:16 am
I don't get over here to LJ very often except to read friends' posts. I just have to let you guys who follow me know some things that I don't necessarily want to talk about over on FB.

Mom has Alzheimer's. I just found out. My sister says she swears she told me before, but I don't remember. I either have it, too, or rejected the information. I knew it was dementia of some kind, but didn't understand this specific diagnosis. We thought we'd be able to let her stay in her apartment for probably another year, but that all changed last Thursday.

Her right knee, the one that was not replaced had been hurting her, but she was getting around okay. Thursday am, she called me and said she couldn't get up out of her chair. She didn't understand that it's a lift chair and it would get her up. I drove in and found that she had spent the WHOLE night in the chair. She'd tried to get to the patio and had opened the door, but knew she couldn't go outside, so turned around and got into her chair. The patio door was open all night. 

One of the other residents who is in charge of keys when the office is closed was there. He said her neighbor saw her patio door open and called him. They really are a wonderful bunch of people there and they all look out for each other. :)  She needed to go to the bathroom and it took 1/2 hour to get her the 10 feet.  Her good leg wouldn't work probably because of sitting in the chair all night. I called my sister to let her know what had happened and she came in to help.  We ultimately decided that Mom needed to go to the ER.  My daughter A was going to help me get into Mom's closet that morning and "week", so she was there, too.  We got Mom cleaned up and into my car and A and I went to the ER.

We were there 12 hours!!!!  They ran lots of tests and finally got an ortho resident to look at her knee.  LOTS of fluid in there!!  He consulted with the attending and they agreed to aspirate it.  Two full syringes the size of a large man's thumb each were pulled out of her knee!  A, who is the strongest woman I know, suddenly got a whole lotta warm and had to actually leave the building for a few minutes!!  LMAO  Guess it's a little different when it's a loved one.  :D

Anyway, it was decided that Mom would come home with me that night for a few days.  We thought we'd take her home after our cook out Sunday afternoon, but she's still here.  I found her on the floor of the bathroom leaning up against the door jamb Sunday am.  She'd tried to get out of bed, which is normally fine, but she slipped before she could get her feet under her and landed on her butt. She scooted herself to the bathroom, leaving a trail behind her.  :(  We managed to get her into the shower and cleaned up and she was okay, but she can't stay by herself. 

My sister has planned all along to have Mom live with them when she needed to and they have been making their finished basement into an apartment for her.  Of course, construction works at its own pace and that has NOT been going well at all.  It's finally looking like we can get her over there in a couple of weeks or so.  We bought a baby monitor the other day so we can hear her if something happens at night. Amazing inventions!!!!!

Dementia is hard.  Hubs' parents both died of cancer and it was fairly quick.  I'd never wish that on anyone, but they were actually "there" right until the end.  Mom is somewhere else a lot of the time.  She forgets everything that's said to her...everything.  She'll wear the same clothes every day if we don't set clean ones out for her.  It's all very stressful and even more sad to see my mother this way.  I'm not the only one, I know, and others have it much worse.  I'm grateful she's still with us as Dad's been gone since '83. 

So, anyway, there we are.  If you managed to hang on until the end, here, thanks for listening.  Just had to 'talk' to my friends.  Love you all!
Current Location: my office
Current Music: Supernatural
19 April 2011 @ 09:29 pm
Hi. I don't usually post things here at LJ. The site doesn't like me very much, so I usually just limit myself to answering your posts and don't do anything original. I have to right now, tho, or I'll burst.

This past weekend I had the joy of spending with my little Whirlwind while his parents worked. Deputy works a 12 hour shift and Angel didn't have to go to work until 2:30 pm. Deputy was home Saturday and Sunday by 6 and we had nice evenings together and enjoying Whirlwind being his silly self. :D

Monday morning was a court date because Deputy is trying to get custody of his daughter from his ex-wife. I've gone with him before, but nothing really happened. Deputy was acting as his own attorney at the time and had given the opposing counsel all the paperwork he had. Opposing counsel sat shaking his head as he went through it all. As they went to the bench, OC asked for a continuance for a BS reason. It was granted and whatever might have happened that day was averted. The fact that JB doesn't pay her attorneys might have had a little something to do with it, too. They tend to not want to expend much energy when they realize they aren't getting any money.

Hubs was at the next court date and OC had literally grabbed another attorney from the lobby to help him. When the proceedings proceeded, Deputy began his opening. New opposing counsel objected to everything causing Deputy to lose his confidence and the judge suggest that he take a break. Another attempt at the proceedings resulted in the exact same thing. NOC turned out to be an )T$^&_%*_. Judge suggested that Deputy seek counsel and the clerk gave a business card. That was almost a year ago.

Now, I must say that Deputy and JB have been divorced for nearly 7 years. He has been battling for his visitation time nearly that whole time. He has since married Angel and had a beautiful little boy who will start kindergarten in the fall. Whirlwind is really the light of my life, being the youngest of the grandchildren and the only boy. I love them all more than oxygen, but am closest to the oldest and the youngest. lol

Anyway, the court appearances for visitation started 6 years ago. JB has remarried (they deserve each other) and for a short time, it was better - a very short time. TB is almost worse than JB now. :(

I won't give a blow by blow of the last 6 years, but suffice it to say that Deputy finally decided to try to get custody of Little Angel just so he could see her when he's supposed to. LA will be 8 in July and insists that she wants to come live with Deputy and Angel and continues to ask Deputy how it's going.

JB has been through several attorneys in the meantime as they all quit when they don't see any sign of getting paid in this lifetime. Her current OC has been on board around 8 mos. or so and claims to already have received a very large payment...MUCH more than should have been earned in such a short time. Deputy has had his attorney, W, for much longer and it hasn't been half as much. Guess OC is not above coloring the truth.

So, yesterday morning I saw COURT. WW wanted to ride with me to the courthouse and exhausted my ears. lol He's such a doll! He went to Safe Harbor where they know him so well and he has them all wrapped around his pinky. :D  We went to the courtroom, but to potty first. I was already feeling it.

Lots of people coming and going. Tons of 'stuff' being discussed. It was really a flurry of activity. Cases heard and judged, a marriage dissolved, lots of other cases continued to another time. It was surprising to me how the attorneys and regular people were constantly in an out. That's not really allowed on tv. :D

When it came time for our case, Judge motioned to Counsels to come into his chambers. All Counsels showed surprise and none of us expected that at all. All we could do was wait.

About 20 minutes later, Judge came back in and resumed judging. I asked Deputy where everyone else was. He said they were probably writing up some stuff. They finally came back in and we were motioned that was could leave by W. There's a little room outside of the courtroom for conferences and stuff, so we waited for W there. Angel was very uptight and stood in the doorway ready to grab W in case he decided to avoid us. He didn't stand a chance. lol

I don't really remember everything W told us, but I got angrier and angrier as time went on. Finally found out that Angel isn't allowed to get LA when D has to work and it's his holiday or whatever, but TB acts as LA's father even to the point of not allowing D to go to daddy/daughter dance last year. TB went instead!

Anyway, it was suddenly more than I could keep in and I told W that I could have her whenever D couldn't. I was ready to explode, but D could tell and told W that Hubs and I were granted visitation in the divorce decree. It was over and W told D to send him an email with all info. We went to retrieve WW and headed to our cars.

We were going to lunch and I drove myself with the music blasting. Lunch was good and we had fun, but I had to head to my daughter's to pick up a load of their stuff for storage in our garage. It was VERY difficult to stay awake on the way there! I guess I'd hit the bottom after all that adrenalin. AF and FF for about an hour and then headed home. Had to stop and get some coffee, too.

By the time I got home, I could barely put one foot in front of the other. Hubs (awesome man that he is) unloaded my car and I went to the couch where no sleep was expected, but horizontal was achieved. Bed was achieved a little earlier than normal, too. Movement this morning was very slow.

I might be called to testify when the actual trial does occur and I'm not sure if I'll survive if this experience is anything to go by. lol I don't know how D and A do this all the damn time!

D made the comment several weeks ago that he wondered what he'd think about when this was all over. This all-consuming. It exhausts me from a distance. I can't imagine what it's like for him, even tho I see what it does to him sometimes. Hopefully, it will come to an end within this year.

If anyone is still reading, I'd appreciate your prayers for my family. And thanks for wading through this with me.


Current Location: Living Room
Current Mood: draineddrained
Current Music: Storm Outside
 1. Tell me one funny story that always gets told when your family gets

When my sister and I were in Jr. High, we were sitting on the porch swing on either side of our dad. We had a pretty good swing going and the chains holding up the back broke.  We were kind of stuck there for a moment with our feet up in the air as we tried to process what had happened.  Dad couldn't move either way without crushing one of us, so had to wait til one of us got our act together and got out of his way.  Don't think we ever all sat in that swing again.

2. What was the most memorable moment of your trip to

Getting to the baggage claim area in Melbourne to find the most awesome Tara waiting there for us.  She took us to our hotel and then she and I went to her house where I met the rest of the gang.  :)  Wonderful time!!!

3. What moment in all five years of Supernatural do you most connect to?

The whole episode of Faith. It had everything.  :)

4. Excluding the names you have already called your children,
 what are your favourite names for a girl and for a boy and why?

Michael for a boy and I have no clue why. Just always liked it.

Judy for a girl I guess.  Every Judy I've known has been a nice person. :)

5. If you could meet anyone in the world, from any time, who would it be and why.
 What would you want to ask them?

I was going to say Jesus Christ, but I will meet Him one day.

Jimmy Stewart, I guess.  I'm not sure I'd have any questions for him; I'd just really like to have a regular conversation with him about anything he'd want.  He had one of the few long marriages in Hollywood.  A great guy.  :)

Current Location: Sewing room
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: The fan under my desk :D